Forever in the Friend Zone

There’s nothing hurts more than knowing that the person you desire the most will never have the same feelings as you. Nothing hurts more than knowing that no matter how much you pour your love into that person, they will never appreciate it.

This is my current situation. I desire someone who’s oblivious of my existence. This someone no matter what I do to show my admiration never recognizes it. This person sees me only as a friend. I can’t handle the pain.

Yes, I have thought over and over again to tell this person how I feel, but I always back out. The risk is too great and I don’t want to lose another friend over a mistaken assumption.

Forever in the friend zone I’ll be until I pack the courage to say how I feel.

Fury Film

Went to see the film Fury today. And let me just say, I was sandwiched between young men in service (I could tell because of their hair cut and tag necklace) and older generation whom I assume have served this country with great honor and respect.

What an incredible movie! Of course, I’m not gonna spill the details nor will I tell you the movie plot. (We have IMDB for that)

Soldiers risking their lives for their country is no joke. I don’t know why the men and women does it, but I sure have an undeniable respect for them.


WWI and WWII was and always will be memorable, not because of the damage it has done, but because of the many lives that was lost, and some sacrificed.

This movie opened eyes to the young generation today even though they “learn” this stuff in school, its also not bad to see what they went through.

Whatever drove Hitler to have his followers kill the Jews, I don’t know. But I do know this and so as the fallen heroes, he was a coward!
Overall, great cast and their chemistry was undeniably close.

Go see this movie if haven’t already.

The Internet

The Internet is my world right now. It’s the only thing I know. It allows me to escape the harsh reality. Forget social media. Twitter, Instagram, Vine, Facebook, and more. For me, the internet is like a book. Every time I need to know about a word or a place, I look it up and read the information on the web. And also forget “I’m gonna Google that”. I make sure the sources I’m reading is legitimateĀ  and credible. Besides music, the internet also allows you to avoid awkward situations.
If only I had a smartphone when I was in highschool. I would have cheated on everything.

Self Evaluation and Time

It’s Monday and I’m miraculously awake at 5 am. Filling up my cup of Joe and checking emails at my home office-home office meaning in my pj’s and still in my bed.

I had a great weekend, not that anyone else cares. It was the best one yet. At least I didn’t mope around the house doing endless chores. I actually went out and did something I haven’t done in what feels like FOREVER. I went to the movies. Went to see Denzel Washington’s The Equalizer and Ben Affleck’s Gone Girl. Both critically acclaimed movies which I both enjoyed. Did some shopping also. I’m slowly realizing that self evaluation is important to every busy person living in this planet. All we do is work, take care of our families, work, pay bills, and at the end of each day we crash in our beds and do it all again the next day. What a dull life!

Self evaluation means pampering yourself and I’m glad I did. Now, I’m left with a whole new level of chores since I didn’t get anything done this weekend.


I’m happy to say I don’t regret anything. Time is always moving and when it gets away from you, you have to make adjustments which causes the “butterfly effect”.

Go out there and spend quality time with YOU if you haven’t already. We all gotta work hard in this life, but never forget to play even harder.

Life at twenty-five

Being twenty-five with no kids is the new “cool” today. No responsibilities and one’s freedom is limitless. It gives me great pleasure to say that I am twenty-five with no children, no responsibilities, and with limitless freedom. But why doesn’t it seem satisfying to me? Why do I feel like something else is missing?
Most of my friends are around the same age as I am and although I clearly remember them vowing to the Gods that they won’t have children until they’re financially stable, some of them have children anyways.
I guess life isn’t as fulfilling as I thought it would be being single.
I guess having a partner and a baby would “complete” every woman on earth.
Does it?


Family, Friends, and Work

Its never easy for me to confide my problems to you guys, but I find it difficult to open up to a family member or a friend since they know me so well. I find it so easy to open up to someone I barely know and I know exactly why. Its because I don’t want my family or friends to judge me. Its like after opening up to them all they’re going to talk to me about the next time we see each other is my problems.

My family and I have the same circle of friends both in and out of work. There’s nothing wrong with this picture. Completely normal and relatable. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always have a positive outcome.

Take my brother’s trip for example. He secretly went camping with one of our close friend (a woman, of course). When I said “secretly” I meant he didn’t tell any of his family and friends that he will be going out of town for a few days. So did she. But family members and friends (who couldn’t keep their abnormally large nose out of people’s business) snooped around and found out. Exchange of harsh words were said and feelings were hurt.  

I don’t want to start my life over and make new friends. I just wished people mind their own business more and kept their mouth shut.


I hosted a house party last night and it was a commercial success. Even though it was crowded, I’ve never felt so alone and this type of shit scares me.
Good booze and good food won the hearts of my guests, but the main prize was the random conversations that each stranger made to one another. I probably met fifteen to twenty people last night and I’m pretty sure the coconut rum in my cup helped boost my self confidence.
To top it all of, I turned the TV on and hooked the Karaoke machine. Everyone went bananas!
Despite the positive vibe, I found myself in my dark room watching Netflix. I just shut down and let strangers come in and out of my house and go crazy. And this is just a party. What more if I’m in a relationship and feel this way? Its terrifying. I wonder if there’s anyone out there who’s with someone but at the same time feeling so alone and lonely.
Even though I felt some type of way, I bounced back and entertained my guests. The party ended late and the booze and food was finished and all I had was the karaoke machine and the awesome memory of my party.
I hate being alone. I hate the feeling of being alone even though I’m not. I wish this feeling never existed. I wish no one else is suffering from this.